it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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