Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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