if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Is this like a preordered booty call?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
