Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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