Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
