You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
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