i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
