Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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