I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
