god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
