kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
