doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Randomize
