Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
