There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize