Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
