the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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