Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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