I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
