i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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