Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
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