ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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