I think I am morally bankrupt
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
