the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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