Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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