She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
