when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I checked into jail on foursquare
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize