Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Randomize
