On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
