What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
