Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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