she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
