Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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