'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
