i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
