I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
