Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
