I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
