ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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