I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
