i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
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He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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