she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
