that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
