Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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