His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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