Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
