Jerry, you need to find god
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
