Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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