I will die if light touches me.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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