So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
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