I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize
