Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
