I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
