Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
You were trust falling into bushes
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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