I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
