When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Someone came in the potted fern
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
