oh god was she eating orange peels again
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
