I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
