Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
