i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
and you said cock pushups were impossible
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
