sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
