I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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