Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
