Can Purell be used as lube?
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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