quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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