he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
