Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Randomize
