We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
