There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
