I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
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